The Derrick Rosie O’Donnells
After all that hard work done by my Derrick Rosie O’Donnells last week, we just had to get screwed over by whatever kooky rules by which the Bleacher Report fantasy league operates, didn’t we?
We had pulled even with Big State on the scoreboard coming into the weekend and maintained that stalemate heading into Sunday. But a big rebounding performance from Jason Thompson, combined with the lack of activity among my D-RODs, allowed Mike Walsh to pull even on the glass.
Which, evidently, was enough to award the category to Big State.
To be sure, I’m not without blame in all of this. Unbeknownst to me (probably because I neglected to check my lineup on Sunday), Boris Diaw’s contributions (seven points, five rebounds, four assists, a steal) didn’t count toward my total, since I left him rotting on the bench for no good reason.
This is the second time this season that I’ve screwed myself out of points by forgetting to shift Diaw into my lineup—and not because he’s too heavy to move.
Granted, I wasn’t the only one who forgot to set my team beforehand. As it happens, Mike left Courtney Lee on his bench, albeit without ultimate consequence.
Still, I s’pose that I have nobody but myself to blame for my team’s failures. Of course, that’s been true all season—from forgetting to “show up” to the draft to refusing to make changes to my roster for silly reasons to not checking up on my team as frequently as I should.
As much as I’d like to and probably could chalk up my successes and failures alike to forces beyond my control, I’d be denying the extent to which a fantasy owner actually can influence his/her own team’s results. I’ll never know for sure, but I think it’s safe to say that if I tried a little harder to win, my D-RODs might actually do so.
Instead, I remain the lone occupant in the cellar of the B/R fantasy basketball league, with a full three games separating me from Big State and Team Hughes.
Just don’t expect me to go out of my way to change that. Just because I’ve learned lessons about the do’s and don’ts of fantasy basketball doesn’t mean I’m going to abide by them in violation of the founding principles of The Lazy Man’s Guide to Fantasy Sports.
Because the last thing I want to be, at least in relation to this here blog, is a nihilist.