The Results 1/13/2014 + The Matchups 1/14/2014

After a somewhat disappointing week against Big State, my Derrick Rosie O’Donnells are ready to bounce back, with Josh Cohen’s The Pipe (a nod to J.R. “Rene Magritte” Smith, of course) on tap for Week 12. He’s got some heavy hitters on his side—between Dwight Howard, Pau Gasol and Josh Smith—along with valuable contributors like Darren Collison, Wilson Chandler, Avery Bradley and Jonas Valanciunas.

All of which is to say, this could get ugly…

The Derrick Rosie O’Donnells

Screen Shot 2014-01-14 at 3.02.22 PM

The Pipe

Screen Shot 2014-01-14 at 3.02.29 PM

Matchup Scoreboard

Screen Shot 2014-01-14 at 3.02.14 PM

ANALYSIS

Pretty good for a day’s work, I’d say. Big nights from Dwight, Bradley, Valanciunas and Felton gave Josh’s squad a solid leg-up in points and field goal percentage, but my D-RODs owned everything else. Kudos to Joakim Noah for snagging 16 boards and to Goran Dragic and Jameer Nelson for combining for 49 points, 10 rebounds and 11 dimes.

What are the odds, then, that my D-RODs not only hold the fort tonight in the six categories they currently own, but also made headway in the two they don’t?

The Derrick Rosie O’Donnells

Screen Shot 2014-01-14 at 3.17.24 PM

The Pipe

Screen Shot 2014-01-14 at 3.17.32 PM

ANALYSIS

The answer: not great. I like what Serge Ibaka brings to the table, especially after reading Kirk Goldsberry’s profile of the Congolese star for Grantland. Alonzo Gee was useless before the Cleveland Cavaliers acquired Luol Deng from the Chicago Bulls and has only seen his role shrink since. It’s gotten to the point where I’m actually contemplating snapping my “No Transactions” streak, which is currently going strong at 40 days, to swap out Gee for someone with a pulse.

Stay tuned for that.

As for The Pipe, I hate to have to root against Pau Gasol, who’s fought valiantly through injury, role misappropriation and doubts for my beloved (and embattled) Los Angeles Lakers. But if Gasol goes off, he could put The Pipe in the driver’s seat on the scoreboard.

Sorry, Pau. D-RODs gotta D-ROD, you know.

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